I recently had a very heated discussion with my parents about gender (more on this on a following post). One thing I observed from this stress-filled encounter was the difficulty of even defining gender and trying to explain this to my family. So I'm going to give a few definitions of gender as I understand it now. Nonetheless, it is important to note that language fails me many times, as it does others. As Toni Morrison has stated on the nature of language, even when you master language, it can never truly capture reality. And I am nowhere near having mastered language.
1. Gender, Sex, and Social Constructs
A social construct is an attribute assigned to people based on arbitrary measures determined by the zeitgest of a society. When it comes to gender, many people think of man and woman, based on an individuals physical appearance (genitalia). We're exposed to the idea that there are only two ways of existing in the world, as man or woman, and those who deviate from these norms are seen as "abnormal" and heavily punished for their deviance (this is one of the reasons why trans individuals are at such a high risk of being murdered and living in poverty).
*Note: There are more than just two genetically-determined sexes, by the way. Whether it be genitalia, chromosomes, or other genetic/biological features, there are more biological combinations than just XY chromosomes/penis and XX chromosomes/vagina. It's true, ya'll! I'm a scientist as well, remember? Ok, enough for self-glorification. Moving on..
2. Gender as Identity
Woo, self-empowerment! Yes, gender serves as an instrument of social control, but it can be used as a venue for self-exploration. Whether it be a self-identified man wanting to try on a dress and make-up, or a woman wanting to go to a macho boot camp for fun. (The last description is my mother. She is dainty and as feminine as people can be, but she went to MILITARY SPONSORED boot camps for thrills and giggles). There is a lot of power in self-determination, and gender is a great avenue for people to explore and realize themselves.
3. Gender is ??????
I still have lots to learn about gender and how it works. I'm sure what I think now will be very different from what I'll understand a few years, months, weeks, or days down the line. And that is completely fine. That's the nature of education and learning, we don't learn much from staying in the same place, including in the same way of thinking. At the moment I tell people that my gender is Saad. I am me, my history and stories are mine. Genderqueer seemed like a comfortable descriptor for awhile but as stated at the beginning of this post, the language didn't seem adequate. One word can't capture the subtlety and nuance of existence.
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